JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Is the taste of me still on your tongue?
You: Never left.
…
You: Do you really wait till 2am to be your “husbfriends” cordial
alarm to go to work? BTW never ask me why “husbfriend” will
perpetually remain in quotation marks. You make me lose my virginity
in every way.. Extremely new to texting. Words so small.. Phone so
bright.. Feel like an old man. It’s good thing.. I’ll acclimate. What
movies did you get? Was going to call you as I was leaving because
there was a… You know.. Those things.. On wheels… Go fast.. And
stuff.. There was a show of that in the Target parking lot.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: I know! At Bob’s Big Boys right?! Every Friday
night! (I typed Friday night and the auto correct changed it to fiesta
night and I can’t stop laughing) I used to go every Friday but it’s
the same cars. Thank you though for thinking of me.
You know there are ways of making the words bigger and screen less
bright old man. You’re a smart man, you’ll find it in the settings.
But thank you for taking the time to text me.
We got The Lovely Bones, Lords of Salem and Get Him To The Greek. He
fell asleep literally in the first 10 minutes of The Lovely Bones. I’d
love to read your story(ies) tonight.
How has your night been since we’ve parted ways?
You: Always being thought of.. Remember, JENNIFER LAWRENCE: FLAVOR.
However I’m scared Of toothbrush/mouthwash.. Oh and floss is the
worst. My dentist who attended USC thinks you’re bad for me,
nevertheless I beg to differ.
AUTHORS NOTE: There really is a lot of irony at the end of this with
the FLAVOR & visiting the DENTIST. Morbid metaphorical oral hygiene.
You: Get him to the Greek (saw it in theaters twice and couldn’t stop
laughing: HILARIOUS! Ever seen it? A part of me dies inside when
someone falls asleep during a cinematic presentation. Are you sure,
JENNIFER LAWRENCE? I’ll send one and if you like it and want another
let me know. NIGHT AFTER FUN TIME WITH JENNIFER LAWRENCE: ride bike
home while listening to Arcade Fire thinking about JENNIFER
LAWRENCEand the funniest/coolest thing she proposed: “let me put my
head on your lap to make her think I’m giving you a blow job!”
Thinking to myself: JENNIFER LAWRENCEis so great. Then RED BULL. Then
GYM 2hr. Then LITERATURE. Then watch mother enjoy shots of patron
while making her think I’m drinking too (FOOTNOTE: JENNIFER
LAWRENCEwas right about just drinking the cranberry juice while that
forgotten 36 year old drank all the vodka by herself on the beach)
then made mother cry by showing her a clip from a Spanish film that is
quite touching and demonstrates beloved children and how moms work
excessively hard for them. Essentially showing her why I chose the
profession I’m pursuing. Her face covered in tears.. Me wiping them..
And telling her, “that’s why I like writing because I want to make
people feel something whether you’re crying or laughing.” She
instantaneously laughs while the tears roll down her cheeks.
Practiced piano.
Eating Caesar salad with pizza, egg parm, and wings while responding
to a message how JENNIFER LAWRENCE’s flavor stays in my mouth..
Oh wait.. We have arrived back to each other.. Digitally. Will edit a
couple things and let you know when I send
And YOU?
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Okay. Texting does not work for us. We are writing
essays to each other. But I love it.
AUTHORS NOTE: You really are writing essays to each other but I’ll
probably cut YOU out because this novel is called JENNIFER LAWRENCE.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: All dentist think I’m bad. I cause cavities.
Because I’m too sweet! Haha see what I did there? 😉
And YES! I’m dying to read your work 🙂
What gym do you go to and what book did you read?
You’re so sweet to your mother and I think that’s amazing because all
the work she has done to raise such an amazing, intelligent,
manipulative, player of a man.
I think piano is the most beautiful instrument.
AUTHORS NOTE: We will also be coming back to the piano. PAY ATTENTION
TO THE DETAILS.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: And myself… Hmm.. Picked up my “husfriend” and
went to Fry’s. Which was AMAZING! I have always gone to the one, I
believe, in Topanga with the Alice in Wonderland theme. This time we
went to the Burbank one with with alien theme. It was so creatively
done, I was amazed! Then went to Von’s to get cereal for dinner and
now The Lovely Bones is almost over and here we are 🙂
…
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: This is a picture I took of one of the army men
from the alien invasion at Fry’s. Hope you think it’s as funny as I
did =P
AUTHORS NOTE: You really don’t find it funny, in fact, I really don’t
understand what you see in her.
You: i was actually just going to mention our essays but it definitely
means something… something profound. I did see what you did there!
JENNIFER LAWRENCE.. where have you been all of my life?! I frequent LA
fitness. Trying to read David Foster Wallace: INFINITE JEST (supposed
to be one of the hardest books to read ever along with james joyce
ULYSSES (read it.. AMAZING) and Thomas Pynchon Gravity’s Rainbow (have
it and have failed many times but will soon get back to it) the
complex/intricate works are what gets me going but need LOTS OF
COFFEE AND SUGAR FREE RED BULL. Like i said I’m doing soon so must
finish as quickly as humanly possible. HA, PLAYER!? I can’t respond as
eloquently/emphatically as i do in person but hopefully you can
imagine me being absolutely dismissive to that notion and utterly
overwhelmed by the tremendous plethora of compliments you bestow upon
my unworthy mind.. because you can always do better. i’ll play piano
for you some time.. only know like two songs.. don’t know if you know
that one song SAY SOMETHING i’m giving up on you.. i’m not saying that
to you, JENNIFER LAWRENCEand never would thats just what the songs
called.. and mozart is extremely painful to learn but one day at a
time. it was like you were walking into the happiest place on earth
except in reality it’s HELL for the employees considering its RETAIL
but the illusion of astonishment is nice.. hold on to it, JENNIFER
LAWRENCE. cereal for dinner! You’re not going to be able to go to
sleep.. cereal is for throwing you out in the day with lots of B
vitamins and fiber! what cereal!? don’t tell me.. LUCKY CHARMS. I know
you love marshmallows.
Story officially sent… i sent as pdf file.. let me know if you have
trouble with the file.
AUTHORS NOTE: We come back to the piano and cereal at the end.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: That song got released the day after my sister’s
asshole boyfriend broke up with her and she played it over and over
and over…. and over….. And over……… And ovvverrrrr again. So
yes, I know the song. It is a beautiful song and I’d love to hear you
play it.
AUTHORS NOTE: SPOILER ALERT: You never do.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: ”You can always do better” I feel that is a very
sad thing to say. Which, by coincidence, is exactly what I was talking
about to an elderly gentleman at work on Wednesday when I was an SP
(service professional). He was at table 73 all alone and I asked him
how his day had been (because I know he wakes up at 6 every morning
since I have spoken with him many times) and how his food was and that
was exactly what he said. “It can always be better.” And I told him,
“sir. That is quite a depressing way to look at things.” But then he
went on to explain how it is true. But I personally believe that it’s
sad to think that because then it seems like one could never be truly
happy. But anyways, I’m ranting now.
No, it wasn’t lucky charms because they didn’t have chocolate lucky
charms so I got coco crisps instead. And although you are right, it is
good to start the day with, but it is also good to start a night with.
Trick the mind a little.
Sorry if I am distracting you from any reading or plans you are doing.
I’m going to check my email 🙂
Love the title
Spare?
You: HAHA I know! Was multitasking and didn’t have to time to polish
it up! Haven’t visited this piece of work since the beginning of the
year. Good catch! LOVE JENNIFER LAWRENCERANTS.. PLEASE SPOIL ME WITH
THEM. But in terms of contexts: theres food and then theres self
improvement. I never want to die satisfied.. i want to die HUNGRY.. i
want to die STRIVING.
Are you reading on IPhone?
Does “husbfriend” snore?
Are you laying down on his hips?
Are you wearing something comfortable?
How many lights are off?
I’m assuming one is on.
Hair is down.
Shower? No?
Shower.. MORNING? YES.
Doesn’t eye liner get on pillow?
Yes.
So you use make up remover by massacring cotton balls before you go to sleep
AUTHORS NOTE: Your wierd questions will never end, so ladies and
gentleman, please get comfortable.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: I am reading on my iphone as I have no other
technology to read an email. And he wasn’t just talking about food but
about life and how his wife has passed. He is a sweet old man who
spits when he talks.
I don’t want to die satisfied. I’d rather die… plainly… happy.
He snores when he’s sleeping on his back so no snoring right now. I am
sitting up cross legged as my yoga pants stretch and become slightly
see through. As my baggy, comfy tank top lightly falls over the tip of
my… Nevermind. And my hair is up, out of my face so I can read every
word that you send me with no distractions. As for lights. No lights
are on. Just the glow of the tv faintly lighting up the room as the
lovely music from the lovely bones main menu music floats around.
I shower in the morning and sleep with my make up on because I am too
self conscious to ever take it off.
Are you in your room as we speak?
I can only picture you on top of a huge bed, very high off the ground
with a lamp by your bed side so you can read your complicated books.
And I can only picture you in your all black work cloths. Do you even
own sweats or any other pants than banana republic slacks? P.s. I love
your attention to detail.
AUTHORS NOTE: JENNIFER LAWRENCEis crazy for answering all of you wierd
questions. Like I said, get comfortable.
You: Ah… JENNIFER LAWRENCEyou gave me an erection. ah.. You are too
kind to me. You certainly painted a picture of (whisper: JENNIFER
LAWRENCELATE AT NIGHT) One of these days you must show me without your
makeup! I’m practically showing you my body naked with my work so you
need to somehow play fair. i’m sitting at my desk with my work
clothes (banana republic pants still on) GEEZ, YOU’RE GOOD! I read
somewhere that regardless if i’m pursuing comedy/writing/cinema i must
always treat it like i’m studying for my bar exam.. met a lot of
pharmacist with big bags underneath their eyes because they rarely
slept due to all the work in college.. so i can’t sleep till LATE,
LATE MORNING MORNING.. whether they are letters, novels, plays,
movies, screenplays I MUST GLUE MYSELF TO THIS DESK.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Why must you do this? Do you want bags under your
eyes? That can’t look good on film…. =P
You: actors wear LOTS OF MAKEUP. BTW please let me know when you’re
getting tired and must fade away towards your subconscious. don’t want
to keep you up. I’m typing you from my computer so it’s much easier
for me to type
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: I’m not tired just yet. And I know your bed time is
1:00 am so we’ll see if we make it that far. Will you be upset if I
did doze off and not say good bye or good night? Which reminds me! I
did have a dream with you in it last night! I woke up with a very
faint memory of what actually happened and what the story line really
was but what I did and what I still do remember is yourself and my
“husfriend” and I were on a journey together to save my little sister,
Daniella, from a dangerous situation she was in and our journey was on
a long wooden bridge, like in Shrek when they go to Princess Fiona’s
castle, and as we were trying to walk across the dangerous bridge as
lightly as we could be I was freezing and you offered me your boxer
briefs to keep me warm…? Hahahaha that’s all I remember and I still
do not understand why that happened but it did keep me warm. Really
random. Do you even wear boxer briefs?
Oh. And I finished your story. Please send more. 🙂 and thank you 🙂
You: HAHA this dream is thus far your best dream of me.. It seems in
some way or another that, based on two dreams you had of me, and..
quite presumptuously yet unapologetically, potentially more, i’m
assisting you. Your first dream was QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY
WITH \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ \_
Your second dream is much more sensual/comfortable/ pleasant
considering i’m saving you from the frigid weather. Would’ve loved to
witness your dream like “husbfriends” response to my heroic under
garments! I wear banana republic boxers on weekends and own /wear 4
boxer briefs when i’m reaching laundry day. I wonder if we saved
Daniella.
The next story is a story you that you will not finish tonight and
will potentially grow to hate me.. i suppose you could say this story
is a test of our bond
It’s all TRUE
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Probably. But she’s a smart girl. She probably
escaped on her own.
You: A woman.. A person.. An EXPERIMENT.
AUTHORS NOTE: You’re referring to JUSTINE.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: I haven’t hated you yet from what youve told me
You: Explicit pictures will be shown so if you are sensitive to that let me know
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Oooh a story with pictures? Maybe my “husfriend”
will be interested in this one too =P I’m just kidding. I do not
believe I am sensitive to these things for what I have already seen
but I’d like for you to push the envelope. 🙂
I put smiley faces way too much. =|
AUTHORS NOTE: She really does. I’m going to take them all out so just
use your imagination.
You: HAHA
Oh.. it seems as if this file is too large to send over email =/
i think its the photos that the file larger
hold on let me try to compress
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: 😦
AUTHORS NOTE: Okay.. I will remove all faces.
You: ok..
hopefully..
i’ve sent using google drive
see if that works
let me know
show your father the tattoo
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Don’t tell me what to do. =|
Authors Note: Starting now.
You: haha i think he’ll like it
maybe it’ll bring you closer
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Does she know about this?
You: Once you finish… THERES A STORY…
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Haha what!?!? This is the story! Is it not!?
You: HAHA its the story
but the answer to your question about her knowing about this
is another story..
its scary
AUTHORS NOTE: You tell her in two months through photographs. I know..
I can’t wait either. Kind of the sequel to JUSTINE so to speak.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Is this scary story another one you have written or
one you will be telling with the grace of your presence?
You: PRESENCE.. with PICTURES you won’t believe
it’ll be like an imperative office meeting with power point presentations
but please take your time with this one..
its tragedy that must be consumed slowly..
slow burn
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: =oI love power point! (I’m trying to widen the
variety of my smiley faces.) is this another one of your law suits?
AUTHORS NOTE: She’s getting really creative with these faces. So hard
to get them all.
You: It’s one that involved the police
and legal guardians
death threats
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: You were minors at the time I’m guessing?
You: friends with guns
i was..
how old was i..
i was the minor
she was 19
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Of course. You and the older women.
You: Haha the older women thing is completely unintentional.. i don’t
go out of my way to seek them
it just happens..
perhaps i’m a lamp
and the the older flies are attracted to the brightness
uhh
just threw up in my mouth writing that
that was so bad
i’m sorry
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: AWWW are you calling yourself bright?
AUTHORS NOTE: There was a smiley face there. One face at a time.
You: ahhh
so sorry
WHISPER late night NICK STEWART: losing coherence
You: did you make love
prior to him falling asleep while his cereal digested?
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Not tonight. His cereal won.
You: ha, beat you to it.. do you ever… while he’s sleeping?
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: If he’s asleep and I want to have sex… I just
wake him up with a blow job and then get on top.
I’m scared the things I’ve said to you and have messaged you will be
brought to the public like your stories I’m reading.
AUTHORS NOTE: JENNIFER LAWRENCE, don’t be crazy. Nick is much more
original than that.
You: JENNIFER LAWRENCEunpredictability is IDEAL especially coming from
someone who is seemingly a disney channel character..
saying that in the best way possible.. over text i can’t be as
emphatic. i knew you’d say that.. but when you arrive at the ending..
you’ll discover why i cant
Author’s Note: When you get to the ending of this you’ll discover why he did.
You: EVER do this again
You: What do you like JENNIFER LAWRENCE?
Imagine me whispering that..
texting is so strange.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: I asked you first. I like texting. It’s easier to
say exactly what you’re thinking because you’re not really saying it
at all.
You: no uhmm.. no pauses… everything is beautifully choreographed
aside from the ironic spell checker however no nice complexion of
JENNIFER LAWRENCEto ensure that what i say has not crossed the line or
made you mad.. laugh… happy
i asked first
who is JENNIFER LAWRENCEwhich somehow correlates to WHAT DO YOU LIKE?
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: You know who I am. What do you like?
You: I never knew JENNIFER LAWRENCEwould take such immaculate
initiative with her “husbfriend” especially considering he is
unconscious you crazy sexy necrophiliac!
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Hahaha you make it sound like a bad thing. You
wouldn’t like that?
You: ohhhh JENNIFER LAWRENCE.. text is so ambiguous.. i would LOVE
that… CORRECTION.. ICE CREAM TERMINOLOGY:: GOTTA HAVE IT!
AUTHORS NOTE: You bought her ice cream and you had three sizes for the
scoops: LIKE IT, LOVE IT, GOTTA HAVE IT!
You: in all actuality a proud experiencer of it.. i was torn between
reality and a wonderful dream however was disappointed to the person i
woke up to find nibbling on the tip of my manhood..
JENNIFER LAWRENCE.. you have nice lips.. nice teeth
so white and coordinated correctly
you took care of them growing up?
braces?
listerine? whitening?
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Hahahaha gotta have it. You’re so clever. Yes
braces. And no whitening. Just brush my teeth 🙂 I never worn my
retainer which lead to me losing it. Then my orthodontist killed his
family then committed suicide so I never got to see him again for a
replacement retainer so my bottom teeth are quite crooked.
Imperfection in perfection. Nickolaus. What do you like?
You: Your bottom teeth were so bad that it made your orthodontist go
on a killing spree!? I haven’t been that close to your mouth… but
I’m a risk taker and very curious how your mouth makes people die… i
aspire to die a little with you. I’m trying to guess what you like..
but i’m assuming you’re quite open minded in the bedroom.. however not
too sure if you’re submissive or are one to take CONTROL..
vocalization is very imperative
communication is KEY
moans are kinky inclinations
kind of a verbal red bull
but can’t imagine you doing such things
you’re a tough one to crack..
i was spit balling
was i far from being right?
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Justine says you’re 19 years old and it’s dated
2013. You were not a minor?
You: was hoping you wouldn’t read it.. 2013 was going 17-18 I loathe
the numbers. how did you know?
You: are you talking to her
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Yes. Her number is in here so I messaged it and she
did respond saying it’s her. She’s a little mad about how I got her
number tho….. I’m completely just kidding.
AUTHORS NOTE: JENNIFER LAWRENCEalways says JUST KIDDING
You: the hair was standing on my arms as i was reading your message
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: It’s past 1:00. Are you going to be heading to
sleep? Have you moved from your desk to bed? Haha I’m sorry. Didn’t
mean to scare you.
You: still at desk.. i consumed a cannoli earlier so i’m sugared up
how are you feeling
tired?
must be.. walking around fry’s makes me tired.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Gravitas rainbow? Are you writing another Justine
story or are you reading it too?
You: uh oh.. you clicked zoom.. GRAVITYS RAINBOW by thomas pynchon!
the book i was talking about earlier that is extremely hard to
entangle. i apologize for the food on the table.. i did kind of get
lost by re-reading JUSTINE and have not been able to stand to go to
wash dishes while i simultaneously watch seinfeld
You never answered my questions about your dialogue while you indulge lust
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: You never answered my question. What you like?
You: and then you’ll answer my questions?
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: That’s how it’s always been hasn’t it?
AUTHORS NOTE: And it always will be.
You: never know when i’m at the edge of the plank near the deep of the
ocean.. don’t want to dive head first alone
i am diving first JENNIFER LAWRENCE
make sure to come in after me okay
water freezing
you use my briefs
i use your body
for
warmth.
care to elaborate
the questions
seems a bit broad
what do i like
hmm..
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: You can take that question however you’d like.
Where does your mind go when I ask that?
You: okay I’m at a museum with your question on the canvas and must
INTERPRET like a pseudo-intellectual with a pipe who really wants to
get laid so he makes..
I like…
well MY question is in relation to the lights off underneath covers
with another bag of bones next to you
so i would say.. considering i’m expecting the same answer from you
i like..
AUTHORS NOTE: We’re skipping over you.
You: Its strange you must experience it to get that new FLAVOR
to understand
but hopefully my elaborate answer has satisfied your curiosity.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE’S TURN!
This should be..
GOOD
JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Submissive and control always changes from whom
initiates it. If I’m in the mood I do the positions I want and if he
starts it I’m all his. Of course moaning is great but never faked.
Never have been one to scream but I still like to get my face pushed
into the mattress or pillow or couch cushion or what have you to stop
the screaming. Since you’ve told me your favorite part of a female
body I’ll do the same. I love testicles. I love them smacking my face
as he jerks himself off and smacking my pussy as he fucks me. I
continuously have healing scabs on my hips from him holding onto me so
tight as he fucks so fast. Oh. And spanking is always encouraged but
that’s really a given. What female doesn’t like that?
AUTHORS NOTE: Can we just end it here?
Jennifer Lawrence's Facial Ingredients 